I know this seems like I want to talk about the Tyler Perry Movie LOL Nah! I tried to gather the different reasons that make people consider the subject of marriage. This is what this post is about, the essence of marriage. I was reading through my old posts, and I came across this one ---> Would you like to wear that ring? The part where Mr Ayo wanted me to talk about the essence of marriage struck me. I don't know why I tried to chicken out(don't mind me, I can be a little laid back sometimes). I noticed that I said I couldn't talk about it because I wasn't married. Well truth is, I might not be well equipped to talk about it (lack of experience) but I'm sure I can say a couple of stuffs about it too. I don't know why he wanted this, but I sure will grant his request. Here it is, and I hope it's not too late :)
We all know some people dread it, they don't even want to hear about it, whereas, some others look forward to the day their greatest desire will come to manifestation. But what fosters this desire? Here are some of the points I tried to pen down: 1. Social status 2. Procreation 3. Mental conditioning 4. Societal pressure 5.Religious or cultural backings 6. Copulation 7. Sense of belonging 8. Security - e.g emotional, financial... 9. Economic reasons 10. Love And of course there are those that do not even have an idea at all. (yea it happens)
So at the end of the day, I've come to the conclusion that love is very essential for marriage to work. Though love is not enough, but love is very essential. It doesn't matter the reason for you wanting to be married; convenience, procreation, companionship or whatever, just make sure that you are married to someone that you truly love and that love is mutual. That's what will keep you away from cheating, or waking up one day and wanting to just stay unmarried or worst, slicing the person like a piece of cheap meat! http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2011/07/pictures-of-titis-mutilated-body.html (Note: very gruesome pictures when you click the link, continue only if you don't mind)
Now this is a clear illustration of "it's better to stay unmarried than to dwell in a bad one" (Geez people freak me the hell out!) Pheww maybe this was actually the inspiration I needed. Because right now, I feel like everybody needs to just sit down and think about why marriage is so important to them. It's more like we should put it like "marriage or life, which would you rather?" Of course I'm talking about those that try to make it seem like it's a do or die affair. I actually want to get married someday, maybe it's out of curiosity I'm not sure yet. I just want to know how it would feel to meet that person that will make you want to just get married. Apart from that, I feel like marriage has got to be the most overrated topic after sex and love. But most importantly, I always feel like I'm not ready.
I hear people say "Marriage is a 50/50 thing". Well I'll say that's why most marriages fail. When you go with the mind set of giving 50 so you can take away 50, it won't work. If you decide to get married to take away whatever you want to take, it'll never work. That's where a lot of people miss it. If the parties involved decide on their own to give more than 50%. At least 75% because you've decided to go the extra mile to help your partner out with their 25% , that is one built on love and concern for each other. It is very wrong to go with the mindset of having a need fulfilled, I think a better approach is to go with the aim of offering something to someone you think deserves it, and hopefully you find someone that has the same mindset. That's true love, that's what marriage should be about, companionship. 2 people coming together to see themselves as one. That's the kind that will last, the one where everybody is working hard to take the burden of each other's shoulder and they will never forget to appreciate every show of love. It's not about your needs, it's about wanting to take the responsibility off the one you've chosen. Real love gives, it doesn't care about what is there to lose or take. Let me finish this with this favourite phrase of mine "For God so loved the world, that he GAVE". John 3.16...Every christian knows this verse. It's one of my best. It shows the relationship between love and giving. For me I always try to relate marriage with this verse. Selfless love - that is the essence of marriage.
P.s. If you think I'm leaving behind any point, please leave it as a comment. Your input will be well appreciated. And also if you'd like me to break down the points a little bit more, let me know. It'll be my pleasure. I thought they were pretty explanatory that's why I didn't elaborate more on them, but of course I might be wrong.
For a lot of Africans, 2face doesn't need any introductions. He's an entertainer and he's known for always doling out those sort of melodies that keep you moving on your feet :) Watch his latest work, 'Be there' Like always, EnjoY
I like 2face, seriously I just like to see him as nothing short of an entertainer, especially the way he talks. I'm just imagining him trying to introduce this video now, it would be something like this. let's see :) "My brothers and my sister eh. Na your guy 2baba. How una dey? Nfana ibagha for you o, nfana ibagha for me too o. I just want to share my new video with you, we be striving and fighting, but baba God be backing. If yawa dey, my brother we ready to fight am. Nothing do us. Nothing do you too. 'Be there' is here for you. Make una enjoy" LOL
For this week's "video pick", I want to also seize the opportunity to introduce Bom-C, the latest artist in the block. With over 3 singles produced and the release of his debut video "marry me", Bom-C delves into the music sphere with his amazing gift of singing and rapping. With his skillful blend of afro-pop and hip-hop, Bom-C presents himself as a very creative and highly talented artist. There will definitely be more successes to come for this upcoming artist, no doubt 'cause hard-work only precedes triumph.
Just like the "fireworks" video by Katy Perry, this master piece was shot in the beautiful city of Budapest. Like always, EnjoY!
Yea your guess is right, he's a friend but you know me, I usually say it as it is. Trust me on this one when I say that he's definitely one to look out for.
Click here to check him out. And thanks for every form of support :)
I must say that I am indeed appalled at what my eyes have seen and my ears have heard these past few days. Being less busy (thanks to summer hols) has left me in a constant search for what to read, hence I find myself visiting a lot of blogs these days.
Let me start off with this question directed to the ladies! Please can someone explain what's with us? 'cause I've been trying to fathom this for a while but it just eludes me. It's not enough that we've managed to establish the broad colored and white categories, we had to make it worse with more subdivisions. Like what is dark-black girl? or light-skinned black girl? And I remember how some of them will quickly want to add, African-American-light-skinned-black girl. Like why all the fuss, debates and controversy? Seriously do you notice that boys do not do all that brunette, blonde, red haired thing? But we just strongly believe that it is very important when describing a girl. That's why their life is a lot easier, boys I mean! Sometimes I envy them a lot. The way they can easily tolerate each others inadequacies.
I was so dazed when I saw the traces of yet another subdivision everywhere. So now we've succeeded in adding 'team relaxer', 'team natural' and 'team weaves' to it, and all these only in the 'african hair' community alone. Why?! I can completely understand if these sorta descriptions is to specify a certain interest (e.g a specific beauty product applicable to a particular group), that's quite comprehensible; BUT for people that adopted these terms for the purpose of some sort of segregation, I've got only one sentence for you "Come off your high horse and face reality, you're not any better"
Sincerly, I don't know where I'd belong because I find myself in all of those aforementioned groups. I do almost everything to my hair. I don't like sticking to one look because I consider it very boring. Whatever I think is beautiful, I go for it. I was *natural (no relaxers) for one year, and then I stopped. The hard work and basically the stress was very discouraging. It wasn't even easy esp when I had to run off for an early morning lecture. As if that wasn't enough, winter decided to deal me a hard blow by chopping a lot of it off. I relaxed my hair, basically that's my easiest summer look. Well cut, highlighted and relaxed and I have my reasons for that. A little relaxer in it is a much easier job for me and that is exclusively my business. That's what technology and embracing life is all about, things can be done differently. Sometimes I think weaves or even braiding them will give me a different look, I explore it. Or even when I try to get them long or with brilliant curls, I choose one of the options I consider the most suitable. There should really be no restrictions regarding this at all. Some people can go through the stress of relaxer and weaves, some people just cannot. And some can go through the stress of managing afro hair, it is just a choice. Like I stated earlier, I have been through all those phases - relaxed, weaves, natural and I can clearly say that each and every one of them comes with it's peculiar hurdles. There's no need trying to be ethnocentric about it. Just choose the one that suits your preferences and take a chill pill.
I'm just imagining how hard it would have been for Obama to win. We already know he had that 'No he's black' or 'yes he's black' going for him. I'm sure if he were to be a girl, we would have heard talks like, 'no, she's team relaxer' and oh no she's got some weaves on too. It's ridiculous, sounds very foolish and immature! If I think about this like this as a girl, I can imagine guys reading some of these comments and statements sometimes and just basically STH!
Why can't we just do the team beautiful (keep your description of beautiful to yourself) and forget all these unnecessary wanting to be better? What's it with all the unnecessary distinctions?
Very soon, I tell you team natural will again be divided to afro, curls and locks. Trust me it can only get better. I'll be so embarrassed as a girl to hear about some stupid "hair war".
Please your hair is only a minute part of you, not everything. 'Team afros' please, it doesn't make you more African, and 'team weaves' and 'relaxer', it doesn't make you more westernized either. Please everybody take note!!! To each their own, as long as it makes you comfortable and most importantly, BEAUTIFUL! God forbid that you try to rock something that looks rather disheveled on you than beautiful.
If you do not have any idea of this ongoing debate, probably it's even the first time you are going to have to think about this as an issue, then click here to witness an attempt to tackle this menace at blogtalkradio.com
This would never be complete without this song. I am not my hair by India Arie ft Pink If I know anybody that likes to rock 'natural', it's India Arie. But if she could boldly sing 'I am not my hair' I don't know who else can represent this statement more. And we know Pink likes to change that thing like nobody's got anything on her. Here you have it, EnjoY!
And of course, a few pics of me rocking all your 'teams' So go ahead, let's see you try to define me now :P
Aint I just beautiful in all of them? :)
P.S Pheww! Sorry for just going on and on. Usually when I rant like this, I don't hit the "publish" tab but mehn, I just had to for this particular topic. I hope the pics and the music made up for the annoying rant? *-* I'm a joker I know, but I'm pretty sure that's why you love me :)
Aww I can't even pretend, I love Beyonce! After my last "semi lashing" on her, I promised I'll just close up on her but I'm so happy it didn't work and I happened to click this on youtube, I just remembered why I love her so much :)
Here's her new music video for the song, 'best thing I never had'
Like always, EnjoY!
How cute is she in that video? B please can you just stay like this? We know where to find Lady Gaga if we need her pleaaaaaaaaaaase *sigh* song is on replay tho!
Hey Sound sultan please that's a very scary look lol
Ok guys I hope you enjoy this one. It's from Chidinma, the winner of the MTN project fame reality tv show that was held in Nigeria last year, also featuring Sound Sultan.
I don't even know what jankoliko means, but I do love the song because it has a very positive message. "Use your hands,.....there's no easy way out, you must go through your struggle" If you don't work hard, you can't achieve success A very simple and straight forward message
Like always, EnjoY
For those that can understand what the duo sang in the other language, please be kind enough to leave it as a comment; and for those that do not, there's really no need to sweat it, the message in the remaining part should be enough :) Even if it's only the one line I wrote up there that you can decipher at the end of the day, just move to the catchy tune and don't forget to take that as the take home message.
I love anything sunshine. It depicts joys, smiles, laughter, fun...(I guess this everyday rain has done something to my cognition right now). It's been raining cats, bulldogs, infact dragons for the past few days in Budapest. I just want to go out not worrying about this annoying rain.
Ok you see how frustrated I am about rainy days? That's to show you exactly how much this sunshine award means to me. Not just because it is an award, but also because it is a 'sunshine award'.
Thanks Didi, I really appreciate this.
In accordance to the rules surrounding this award, I have to pass this on to 10 other bloggers, so here we go.
First off, I must say that 10 is very restrictive but I'll try to do my best.
I am very sure that my best will still not do any justice to this because y'all are tres awesome but hey! I have to do this; stop the procrastination girl! (Talking to myself! SMH it happens a lot Lol)
So I'll just try to use the blogs that I enjoy reading as the basis for this and it's in no particular order
Thanks peeps! You help me with some of those boring moments. Please pardon me, I need to add this new blog I just discovered Gbemisoke She's too inspiring to be left out of this. Pardoned? Thank you :) Hmm one more? Lol
I'll also like to avail myself of this opportunity and wish everyone some sunshine for July too.
You're going to have it anyway, it's July, but I'm wishing you one that comes with smiles and everything good.
P.s Especially to my good friends that are graduating tomorrow. I pray the rain doesn't come around at all because y'all deserve a great time.
