Jokes

Small love story only for U :
He Proposed,
She Smiled !!! 

No Teeth,
He DIED !!! :-D :-D:-D
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Innocent baby handling his crush:-
Main tumhe bhulne ki bhut koshish kalta hun,
Pal kya talu,
Mummy loz badam kila deti hai aul tumhali yad fill aa jati hai.

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Li'l girl: teacher, can a 40 year old get pregnant?
Teacher:yes!
Li'l girl:what about a 20 year old?
Teacher:yes!
Li'l girl:what about a 5 year old?
Teacher:NO!
.
.
.
.
*now the li'l boy whispers in the li'l girl's ears*
"I told you honey, we need not worry"

LOVE IS SO FREAKIN' CUTE!

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Mother, to her teenage daughter, -
I think its right time, we should talk about sex.

Daughter: Sure mom, what do you want to know

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Common lines after a guy gets drunk :-
--> You are my everything..
--> I will drive the car..
--> I love you from my heart..
--> Today i am not feeling drunk..
--> Don't think that i am saying all this because i am drunk..
--> Let's have one more glass..
--> Ask me what you need, i can even die for you..
--> Don't teach your father..
And the best one...
----> i will stop drinking from tomorrow..

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A man's sad story-

Last week was my birthday.
My wife didn't wish me, my kids didn't.

I went for work. My Friends didn't.
I was very disheartened.
I entered my cabin.
My p.a. said 'Happy birthday boss'. I felt special. she asked me for lunch.
AFter lunch she invited me to her apartment.
There She said, 'do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?' 'ok', i said nervously.
She came out a few minutes later with a large cake. 
Followed by my wife, kids and friends and i was waiting for her.
sitting on the couch naked.:-|:-D

Jokes

One liners:

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $4.95 a minute.

At a Funeral of Cardiologist,his Coffin was Heart Shaped.A Doctor Started Laughing,Ppl asked why?He said-I'm Thinkin abt my Funeral, I'm a Gynaecologist!! :-)

Teacher:Men r Born from betwen d LEGS of a WOMAN, yet Spend all their Lifetime in trying 2 Get Back between THEM,

WHY? Student: I think, dis is Home Sickness

Romantic movies are known to ruin relationships as they give unrealistic expectations to women about what to expect in

porn films do d same to men !! :P

If you put a corn field on fire, would it turn into popcorn ??

What's about 9in long, goes in and out of your're mouth and has white stuff on the end of it ??
a toothbrush... what did YOUU think :p HAHA

There were two muffins in an oven, the first one goes ' dang, its hot in here! ' and the second one goes ' AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.